Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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