Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
