You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
