i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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