Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
