needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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