In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
