Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
