Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
