I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
