Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
