I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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