I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
