This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
