that's an acceptable place to lick
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
They have beer where we have blood.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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