My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
