you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I have demons in me.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
vagina is talking i cant
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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