Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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