I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
How external is "for external use only"?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
