so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
