please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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