At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
