I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
