Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
