I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
