I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
