it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
