hell yes lets make some ravioli
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
