How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
