Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize