I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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