remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
