I want you more than these girls want KFC
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i think i just lost a toe
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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