My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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