I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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