I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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