In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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