That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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