Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
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just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
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Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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