You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
