I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
