She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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