sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
