last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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