some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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