Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
