it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
3 2 1 whiskey
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
