at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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