whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
