Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Are we still banned from the library?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize