umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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