is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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