Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
