i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
