there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
