You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
