i don't like sucking hair
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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