So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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