They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
