You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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