I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
