I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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