Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
