If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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